the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
