Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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