I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize