do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
