Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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