Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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