I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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