I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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