you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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