alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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