I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
