I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
