When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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