He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
