i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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