I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize