I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
