I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
