he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
