The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize