he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
