Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
