she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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