good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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