4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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