Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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