I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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