i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
