so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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