I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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