I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
