"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
