Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's blow job season.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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