do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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