i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize