Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
