I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
