please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
being pregnant is like rehab
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
