and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
sarcasm needs its own font
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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