Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
