We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
