When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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