Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
