its not stalking. its research.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
