She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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