What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
