if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
