On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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