Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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