I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
