paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
