He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize