but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize