i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize