What did we do last night that was yellow?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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