38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
