So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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