I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
