We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
