I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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