she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
