His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
