Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
