Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

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(369): View more from California

I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know

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(315): View more from New York

i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.

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(719): View more from Colorado

he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka

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(310): View more from California

He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are

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