I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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