I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I didn't notice because vodka
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
