Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
