hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
