I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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