hotel room ftw
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize