So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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