hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
